best dating app for open marriage: top picks and tips
What “best” really means for open marriages
The best app is the one that aligns with your relationship agreements, your city’s user base, and the kind of connections you want-dates, friends, play partners, or long-term poly constellations.
- Clarity tools: fields for ENM/relationship type, couple-linking, and tag-based boundaries.
- Privacy controls: photo blurring, incognito/hidden modes, and block lists.
- Discovery power: filters for orientation, desires, and openness to couples.
- Community culture: consent-forward norms and strong moderation.
- Inclusivity: orientation and gender options beyond the binary.
Consent and transparency come first-always.
Top apps compared for open marriages
Feeld - purpose-built for ENM
Feeld centers open-minded dating, making it a go-to for many ethically non-monogamous couples and solos.
- Pros: couple/“paired” profiles, detailed interests and boundaries, inclusive gender/orientation choices, consent-forward culture.
- Cons: smaller pools in smaller cities; some features require paid tiers.
OkCupid - mainstream reach with ENM support
OkCupid’s questionnaires and profile fields help you signal non-monogamy and match on values.
- Pros: robust prompts and questions, value/ethics matching, large user base in many regions.
- Cons: time investment to answer questions; ENM acceptance varies by locale.
#Open - tailored for open relationships
#Open uses tags to express boundaries, desires, and dynamics, helping set expectations fast.
- Pros: built-in ENM language and tags, community guidelines centered on consent.
- Cons: availability and density can be spotty outside major hubs.
Mainstream swipe apps (Bumble, Tinder, Hinge) - broad exposure, mixed precision
These can work if you clearly state ENM in your profile and screen proactively.
- Pros: very large pools; quick to get started.
- Cons: fewer ENM-specific fields; more upfront messaging about boundaries.
If you prioritize women-centered design and safety features, it can help to review best female dating apps as a complementary reference.
Profile and etiquette tips that actually work
- Align agreements first: define boundaries, safer-sex protocols, and what to share in chat.
- Say it plainly: note “ethically non-monogamous / open marriage, all parties informed.”
- Use recent, clear photos: include solo shots; couples can add an optional together photo if allowed.
- Lead with values: consent, communication style, and what connection you seek.
- Filter wisely: set distance, availability, and orientation filters where supported.
- Message with consent: ask about boundaries before proposing logistics.
- Debrief regularly with your partner(s) and adjust your profile as agreements evolve.
Honest bios attract the right matches. Boundaries stated early prevent mismatches later.
Safety, privacy, and discretion
Use in-app blocking and photo controls, avoid sharing identifying workplace details, and consider app-specific photos. Switch to voice/video before meeting, share itineraries with a trusted person, and meet in public first. If discretion matters, check whether the app offers hidden/blur modes or contact-block syncing.
Niche communities and local context
Turnout varies by city. Major metros often have strong Feeld and OkCupid ENM communities; smaller towns may require more patience. Poly/ENM meetup groups, kink communities, and queer events can complement your app strategy. For LGBTQIA+ contexts-especially in big cities-regional guides like best gay dating apps london can help you find welcoming spaces.
Quick picks by scenario
For couples seeking shared dates/triads
Start with Feeld or #Open for clearer couple features and boundary tags.
For married solos looking for values alignment
Try OkCupid for depth of prompts and filtering; mention your agreements upfront.
For LGBTQIA+ and gender-diverse openness
Feeld and #Open tend to offer broader identity options and community norms that support ENM.
FAQ
What is the best dating app for an open marriage?
There isn’t a single winner for everyone. Feeld and #Open are purpose-built for ENM and are great first stops; OkCupid is the strongest mainstream option thanks to detailed profile fields and value matching. Choose based on your city’s user density and your preferred features (e.g., couple linking, privacy controls).
Is using these apps for ENM allowed and ethical?
Yes-when all parties consent and you follow the app’s terms. Clearly state your ENM status and avoid misleading anyone. Ethical non-monogamy relies on informed consent, honesty, and ongoing communication.
How should couples set up profiles?
Use couple/“paired” features where available (e.g., on some ENM-focused apps). If not, each partner can keep an individual profile referencing the open-marriage agreement and whether you date together, separately, or both. Include boundaries and scheduling preferences to minimize confusion.
How do we increase quality matches?
Post clear, recent photos; specify “ethically non-monogamous/open marriage, all parties informed”; use tags/filters; answer value-based prompts; and send respectful first messages that ask about boundaries and intentions. Review your profile monthly and iterate.
Can we stay discreet while exploring?
Yes: use hidden/incognito modes if offered, limit identifiable details, blur or crop photos, and block contacts as needed. Consider a separate email/number for dating and verify matches via quick video before meeting.
Which cities have the strongest ENM user bases?
Large metros (e.g., New York, London, Los Angeles, Toronto) tend to have the most ENM-friendly density across Feeld, OkCupid, and #Open. In smaller areas, expect slower pacing and consider widening distance filters or traveling occasionally.
Are affair-focused sites good for open marriages?
Typically no. Sites oriented around secrecy or cheating don’t align with ENM’s consent-based ethos and can attract mismatched expectations. Prefer platforms that support transparent, ethical connections.
